MyLaffs Joke #2099
QUICKIES:
The only problems for women are men. The worst thing about men is that all the cute ones are gay.
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After a while John developed an attachment for his mother-in-law. It fitted over her mouth.
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Son: "Dad, what's a monologue?"
Father: "It's a conversation with your mother."
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An
auctioneer has no friends. Just nodding acquaintances.
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"Do you believe in free love?" she asked.
"Well, have I ever sent you a bill?" he replied.
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"Sir, I would like your daughter for my wife."
"OK, let's see your wife. I'm not swapping until I see what she looks like."
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In these tough times there are two kinds of people.
Those with swimming pools and those who can't keep their heads above water.
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Schoolboy howler: Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.
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Then there was the drunk who suffered from alcoholic rheumatism.
He gets stiff in most joints.
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He: "I would go to the end of the earth for you."
She: "But would you stay there?"
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"So James id dead! Did he leave his wife much?"
"Nearly every night."
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A friend of mine just joined Alcoholics Anonymous. He still drinks but under an assumed name.
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The other day I left my wife at the bank and kissed my money good-bye.
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Sometimes it doesn't pay to pay attention. I saw a sign that said STOP, LOOK, AND LISTEN. I did, and the train hit me.
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I'll never forget the day I smashed into a police car and woke up two cops.
