MyLaffs Joke #2055
There are some greetings cards that you just don't appear to be able to get, so here are a few suggestions for Hallmark:
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the fuck was I thinking?"
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"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
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"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
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"I must admit, you brought
religion in my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you."
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"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me."
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"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
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"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."
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"Thanks for being a part of my life! I never knew what evil was before this!"
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"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."
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"We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits."
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"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
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"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?"
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"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
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"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday - so we're having you put to sleep."
