MyLaffs Joke #1891
Some actual maintenance complaints logged by Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews:
(P) = The Problem - (S) = The Solution
(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.
~~~~~
(P) Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
(S) Auto land not installed on this aircraft.
~~~~~
(P) #2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) #2 propeller seepage normal - #1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.
~~~~~
(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Something tightened in cockpit.
~~~~~
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.
~~~~~
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to more believable level.
~~~~~
(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.
~~~~~
(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problems on ground.
~~~~~
(P) IFF inoperative.
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
~~~~~
(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
(S) That's what they're there for.
~~~~~
(P) Number three engine missing.
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.
~~~~~
(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right," and be serious.
~~~~~
(P) Target Radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.
