MyLaffs Joke #1875
TIPS FOR GETTING THE MOST FROM I.T. SUPPORT.
When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
1: Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.
2: When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 300 screen saver passwords.
3: When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.
4: Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
5: When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.
6: When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.
7: When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.
8: When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.
9: When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.
10: Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "my thingy blew up".
11: If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail/ NT / network upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.
12: When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that 'Yes' button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you?
13: Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.
14: When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.
15: When you receive a 30mb movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.
