MyLaffs Joke #1868
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FUNNY MARRIAGE SAYINGS
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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Henny Youngman
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The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. - Ann Bancroft
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Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. - Bill Cosby
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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner
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Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - George Burns
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What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. - Cindy Garner
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When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. - Elaine Boosler
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake." - Henny Youngman
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller
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My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henny Youngman
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People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. - Erma Bombeck
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