MyLaffs Joke #1792
QUICKIES:
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
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Teamwork means never having to take the blame yourself.
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Aim low, reach your goals, avoid disappointment.
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Life not only begins at forty but it begins to show.
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Don't you hate it when you are in court and the low life scum who beat you up and robbed you is referred to as a gentleman?
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Clones are people two.
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As I said before I never repeat myself.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get stuck in jet engines.
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Don't hit a man with glasses - use your fist.
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I intend to live forever - so far so good.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
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Give a man a free hand and he will run it all over you.
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When I'm not in my right mind - my left mind gets pretty crowded.
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I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
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How can you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
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Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humour.
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Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
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So what's the speed of dark?
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A eunuch is a man cut out to be a bachelor.
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One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time I take a pill, my wife gets a headache.
