MyLaffs Joke #1787
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I once read a book about anti-gravity. I just couldn't put it down.
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There's a new insecticide on the market called Spanish Person. It makes flies so horny they screw themselves to death.
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Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men? It changes their blood type.
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There are more important things in life than money - but they won't go out with you if you are broke.
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I told the doctor i broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those two places.
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How can you be over the hill if you've never got to the top?
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Have you ever stopped to think then forgotten to start again?
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I have been happily married for four years - three different times.
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Sure you can't take it with you but you can stash it where no other bastard can find it.
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If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
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Why is it when you talk to God you are praying but when he talks to you, you're crazy?
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Old age is inevitable, growing up is optional.
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My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong, and she agrees with me.
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The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.
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Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing everybody that opposed them.
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If you can stay calm, while all around you is in chaos ... then you probably haven't understood the whole situation.
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Doing the job right the first time gets the job done. Doing the job wrong fourteen times gives you job security.
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