MyLaffs Joke #1757
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There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 400SL convertible.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal and a good woman, or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns
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I failed my audition as Romeo, through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. In my script it clearly said 'Enter Juliette from the rear.'
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From a NorthWest Airlines in flight meal: 'Black Pepper', contains Black Pepper?
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"My dog is worried about the economy because Chum now costs 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
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Equal opportunity ad: Girl wanted for petrol pump attendant.
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Then there was the woman who swerved to avoid a child and fell out of bed.
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Blondes are now buying nightgowns with fur round the hemline. It's to keep their necks warm.
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A bisexual is a man who likes girls as much as the next guy.
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Then there was the prostitute who had her appendix out, and the surgeon sewed up the wrong hole. Now she makes money on the side.
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Did you hear about the two homosexual judges who tried each other?
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Did you hear about the musician who plays by ear, drums with his fingers and fiddles with his dick?
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And then there was the college cheerleader who went out with the team captain. She ended up with athlete's foetus.
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