MyLaffs Joke #1690
LAWYER JOKES
How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb . . .
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
Senator.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor.
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What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
Chelsea.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.
An anvil.
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What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
You cry when you cut up an onion.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did God create snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.
