MyLaffs Joke #1630
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WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY...

* Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
* Your orgasms are real. Always!
* Your last name stays put.
* Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* Foreplay is optional.
* You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
* The world is your urinal.
* Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
* You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
* Wrinkles add character.
* You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
* Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
* If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
* People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
* The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
* Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
* One mood, all the time.

BENEFITS OF BEING FEMALE!

* We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
* Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies (you get the point).
* We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
* We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
* New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
* If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.
* Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
* It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
* No fashion faus pas we make could rival. - - - - The Speedo.
* We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
* If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
* We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her fanny.
* If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it
* We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
* If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
* We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
* We have the ability to dress ourselves.
* We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
* If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
* Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
* There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
* Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
* We'll never regret piercing our ears.
* We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
* We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.
* We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
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