MyLaffs Joke #1542
MAKING MARRIAGE LAST
* The best way to ensure a long-lasting marriage is to keep your individual needs out of it.
* Treat your partner with respect. Don't hit him/her in front of relatives.
* A good relationship leaves room for outside interests. Be supportive of your spouse's rough-sex-with-the-mailman hobby.
* Cranking out another child is a great way to bring you and your spouse closer together.
* Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and scream at each other for 24 hours, 36 hours -- however long it takes.
* Always speak to spouse in soothing, patronizing tones.
* Take out your marital problems on your young children.
* Communication is the key to a good marriage. Be sure your spouse knows every last little thing you hate about him/her.
* Sit down with your spouse and work out a diet that will allow you to get big and fat together.
* If your marriage is truly in jeopardy, stay in touch with your phone psychic at all times.
* Countless conflicts can be avoided by walking out on your family for years at a time.
* In a two-job household, both careers need to be considered, even if one is some silly little woman endeavor.
* One common myth states that hitting is no way to solve a marital dispute, but studies show that this is not always the case.
* If you sense that your marriage is growing stale, accept it and live out the remainder of your days in unfulfilled misery and despair.
