MyLaffs Joke #1485
THE REAL MEANING IN PERSONAL ADS:
First The Ads From Women
40-ish --- 48
Adventurer --- Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic --- Flat-chested
Average looking --- Ugly
Beautiful --- Pathological liar
Contagious Smile --- Bring your penicillin
Educated --- College dropout
Emotionally Secure --- Medicated
Feminist --- Fat; ball buster
Free spirit --- Substance user
Friendship first --- Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun --- Annoying
Gentle --- Comatose
Good Listener --- Borderline Autistic
New-Age --- All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned --- Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded --- Desperate
Outgoing --- Loud
Passionate --- Very loud
Poet --- Depressive Schzophrenic
Professional --- Real Witch
Redhead --- Shops in the Clairol section
Reubenesque --- Grossly Fat
Romantic --- Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous --- Very Fat
Weight proportional to height --- Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate --- One step away from stalking
Widow --- Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart --- Toothless crone
~~~~~
The Male Side Of The List
40-ish --- 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic --- Sits on the couch and watches lots of sport
Average looking --- Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back
Educated --- Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit --- Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first --- As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun --- Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking --- Arrogant
Honest --- Pathological Liar
Huggable --- Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle --- Insecure, overly dependent
Mature --- Until you get to know him
Open-minded --- Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
Physically fit --- I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself
Poet --- Has written on a washroom wall
Spiritual --- Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday
Stable --- Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful --- Says "Please" when demanding a beer
