MyLaffs Joke #1429
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Bride: Do you believe in premarital sex?
Groom: Only if it doesn't hold up the ceremony.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
You never really learn to pray until your teenager learns to drive.
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What do you get when you cross a canary with an elephant?
A pretty messy cage!!
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He was so ugly when he was born, the Doctor took one look at him and slapped his father.
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He was so ugly he wasn't in WHO'S WHO, he was in WHAT'S THAT!!
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He was so dumb, he went up to a guy on the street carrying a bible and wearing a suit. He said, "Are you a Jehovah's Witness?"
The guy said, "I didn't know there was an accident!!"
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Anyone who sez "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby."
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IMPOTENCE: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings."
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My wife says I never listen to her.
At least I think that's what she said.
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Then there was the guy who was half Irish and half Italian --- he'd make you an offer you couldn't understand.
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Undertakers are nice people - they're the last ones to let you down.
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The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"
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"We spend the first six years teaching our children to walk and talk, and the next 15 telling them to shut up and sit down." - Dear Abby
