MyLaffs Joke #1378
WHAT SMART WOMEN SAY:
1: I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb.... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton.
2: You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.- Erica Jong.
3: I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner.
4: My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner.
5: I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman.
6: Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck.
7: If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. - Sue Grafton.
8: I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne Barr.
9: I think - therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead.
10: When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler.
11: Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson.
12: I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner.
13: In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher.
14: I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem.
15: Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem.
16: I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night - Marie Corelli.
17: Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. - Baroness Edith Summerskill.
18: If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee.
19: I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor.
20: Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. - Eleanor Roosevelt.
