MyLaffs Joke #1339
THE 'INSTITUTION' OF MARRIAGE:
"Were you ever happily married?"
"Yeah, but since the divorce, I just lease!"
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Always remember, a marriage license is important: Without it, you can't get a divorce!
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Marriage is a knot tied by the minister and untied by a lawyer.
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A wife lasts as long as a marriage: An ex-wife lasts forever!
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"So, why did you and your wife get divorced?"
"Because we lived in a two story house."
"Why would you get divorced because of that?"
"One story was, 'Not tonight, I've got a headache,' and the other one was, 'Sorry, but it's that time of the month.'"
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Divorce is the future tense of marriage.
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It used to be a woman would marry a man for his money: Nowadays she divorces him for the same thing.
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Woman to her divorce lawyer: "My husband once told me that every- thing of his was mine. Now, I want it!"
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Divorce starts with engagement.
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Say what you will about Henry VIII, but he sure figured out how to get around those pesky alimony laws.
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"My mother-in-law broke up my marriage."
"Mine, too. My wife caught us in bed together!"
"Funny, that's what my husband did!"
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Did you hear about the woman that filed for divorce after she had twelve kids? The reason she put in the divorce papers was for extreme compatibility!
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I know a guy that just got divorced. They split the house in half:
She got the inside!
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"I don't care if my husband leaves me," said the young wife of her mate. "Just so long as he leaves me enough!"
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You just can't win: One guy got a divorce from his wife because of housework - she didn't like the way he did it!
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DIVORCE: Proof that while you can't buy love, you still end up paying through the nose for it!
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Browbeaten Bob once told me that his marriage was secure. "My wife would never file for divorce from me: She'd never do anything to make me happy!"
