MyLaffs Joke #1312
QUICKIES
I joined the Army for three reasons: I wanted to defend my wonderful country; I knew it would help me morally and physically; and they came and got me.
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"Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?"
"Because even then a man wouldn't stop and ask for directions."
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The Bible says, "Love thy neighbour." I did, and her husband found out!
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In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar. Well, times haven't changed at all!
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Anybody who claims that marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition doesn't know the first thing about women or fractions.
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Mother: "Soooo... you want to become my son-in-law."
Suitor: "No, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter."
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Viagra Lite: For people who only want to masturbate.
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Sign advertising a health club:
"Merry Fitness and Happy New Rear!"
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A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tyres or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
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Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!
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"Your glass is empty O'Flaherty, will you be having another?"
"And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?" replied O'Flaherty.
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A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
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To my knowledge no one has created a co-operation pill to go along with Viagra.
