MyLaffs Joke #1310
Just before Rosh Hashana, a team of terrorists invades the shul and takes the rabbi, the cantor and the shul president hostage. Hours later, the governor stands tough, he won't give them a million dollars, nor a getaway car nor a Jumbo Jet. The terrorists gather the three hostages in a corner and inform them that things look bad and they're going to have to shoot them.
Nevertheless, to show that they're not really a bad bunch, they'll grant each hostage one wish. "Please," says the rabbi, "for the last two months I've been working on my Rosh Hashana Sermon. What a waste to die now without having carried it before an audience. I'll go happily if you let me recite my sermon. It's an hour and ninety minutes long, tops." They promise to grant him the wish.
"Please," says the cantor, "after 50 years I've finally gotten the 'Hinneni' prayer just right. What a waste to die and not sing it to an audience. It's only about 45 minutes long - then I'll go happily." The terrorists promise to grant the cantor his wish too and they turn to the shul president.
"Please," says the president with tears in his eyes, "Shoot me first!"
