MyLaffs Joke #1250
WHY???
* How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
* Since Americans throw rice at weddings do Asians throw hamburgers?
* Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
* Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
* Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
* Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
* Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?
* Why is the alphabet in that order?
* Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
* When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? Isn't that a "near hit"?
* Do fish get cramps after eating?
* How come abbreviated is such a long word?
* Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
* If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
* Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
* Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
* If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
* Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
* Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?
* If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
* Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
* How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
* Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
* Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
* Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
* Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
* What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
* If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
* Is the main reason Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?
* Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
* Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
* Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
* I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
* If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
* Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
* Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
* Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
* Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
