MyLaffs Joke #1240
I squeezed it gently at first, then a little bit harder. There seemed to be more and more of it. I moved it towards my lips. It was a strange and new sensation for me. I put it in my mouth and moved it around and around with my tongue. The time soon came when I knew I had to spit it out. It was quite an experience the first time I tasted -
toothpaste.
~~~~~
I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it apart. It was so pure and white. I licked it once, twice... I found I couldn't stop. I licked it faster and faster, and harder. I began to scrape my teeth against it. There it was, in my mouth! All sweet and creamy. I was done. I threw away the outsides of my -
Oreo cookie.
~~~~~
I was scared at first. It was very wide, and very long, and it angled straight up. I decided I had to try it once. I slowly and carefully eased myself onto it. It felt weird at first. Then I got used to it. I went up and down, and up and down on it. I was really loving it. Now I ride on -
escalators all the time.
~~~~~
They were both round and firm. There was only the slightest difference between the two of them. I twisted the end of one with my fingers. It was so warm. I grabbed it with my whole hand and twisted it hard. I used my other hand to grab the other one and twist it hard the other way. Now there's a -
brighter light bulb in the living room.
~~~~~
It was lying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin. I slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. I was turning it on. It became firm in my hands, and the end was wet. Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip. Then I took the -
garden hose and watered the bushes.
~~~~~
I knew it could be done. I wanted to try but I didn't know if I could do it. I called my friend. He said he knew how to do it and would teach me. He put his arms around me and started. I watched nervously in the mirror. He finally finished and pulled back slowly. I felt relieved that it was over. I hate -
neckties.
~~~~~
It looked warm and dark, and juicy and inviting. I wasn't sure just what I wanted to do with it. I carefully pulled it apart with my fingers to look into it better. I knew how great it would be if I just started eating it. But I decided on -
catsup for my burger.
~~~~~
They were two of the biggest balls I had ever seen! They hung so heavy and low. I tried lifting them gently, but that wasn't enough. They had to be pulled, and I pulled on them very very hard. They finally came. I moved them -
to a higher spot on the Christmas tree.
