MyLaffs Joke #1172
This was in the "Bob Levey's Washington" column in the Washington Post. Every year he compiles and prints the "Best T-Shirts of the Summer":
1: (around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won
2: So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
3: I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
4: God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
5: If They Don't Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain't Going
6: At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All... I Just Can't Remember It All
7: My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
8: I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do
9: (Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah
10: If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?
11: Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount
12: Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog
13: No, It Doesn't Hurt (on a "well-tattooed gentleman")
14: (on the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
15: I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now
16: (Over the outline of the state of Minnesota) My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor
17: Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping.
18: What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About
19: I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
20: (on the Front) Yale Is Just One Big Party (on the back) With a $25,000 Cover Charge
21: Coffee, Chocolate, Men... Some Things Are Just Better Rich
22: Liberal Arts Major... Will Think For Money
23: Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional
24: IRS -- Be Audit You Can Be
25: Gravity... It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law.
26: If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen
27: Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
28: The Old Pro... Often Wrong... Never In Doubt
29: If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You
30: Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
31: In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You Take.
32: First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order.
33: God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
