MyLaffs Joke #1100
RELIGIOUS DEFINITIONS
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
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CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
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HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
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HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
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RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
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INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
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JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.
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JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
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JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
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MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
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MANGER: 1: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. --- 2: The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.
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PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches.
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PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass, consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
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RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass - led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
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RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
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TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
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USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
