MyLaffs Joke #1017
LAYMEN'S COMPUTER TERMS
BIT:
A word used to describe computers, as in "Our son's computer cost quite a bit."
BOOT:
What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills.
BUG:
What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: What computer magazine companies do to you after they get your name on their mailing list.
CHIPS:
The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.
COPY:
What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time at the computer and not enough time studying.
CURSOR:
What you turn into when you can't get your computer to perform, as in "You $#% computer!"
DISK:
What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours at a time.
DUMP:
The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install your computer.
ERROR:
What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom to "just look."
EXPANSION UNIT:
The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals.
FILE:
What your secretary can now do to her nails six and a half hours a day, now that the computer does her day's work in 30 minutes.
FLOPPY:
The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see "Chips").
HARDWARE:
Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you haven't laid a finger on since getting your computer.
IBM:
The kind of missile your family members and friends would like to drop on your computer so you'll pay attention to them again.
MENU:
What you'll never see again after buying a computer because you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.
MONITOR:
Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who always want to see your hall pass at school.
PROGRAMS:
Those things you used to look at on your television before you hooked your computer up to it.
RETURN:
What lots of people do with their computers after only a week and a half.
TERMINAL:
A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals on hot computers.
WINDOW:
What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase a program that took you three days to set up.
