MyLaffs Joke #893
THOUGHTS OF A WOMAN
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy
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What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
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How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook - they eat; we clean - they dirty; we iron - they wrinkle.
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How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
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How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
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What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
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What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
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Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
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Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
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Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
