MyLaffs Joke #803


I, (state your name), in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the United States Navy because I want to hang out with Marines without having to actually BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," and because I thought "Hey, I like to swim.... why not." I promise to wear clothing that went out of style in 1976 and have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor man during the summer, and for the Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, and head" instead of "floor, wall, hat, and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster (whatever that is) at 0700 HRS every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the chief, in which case I will show up at 0930 HRS. I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted down at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my new found "colleagues." So help me Neptune.

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