MyLaffs Joke #773
QUICKIES:
If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear?
A hole in it.
~~~~~
Did you hear about the new all female delivery service called UPMS.
They deliver whenever the FUCK they want to.
~~~~~
Did you hear about the prostitute who had leprosy?
She was doing OK until her business fell off.
~~~~~
Sally the blonde told her friend, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid."
~~~~~
Why did the chicken go to a seance?
To get to the other side.
~~~~~
DOCTOR: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?
NURSE: No change yet.
~~~~~
"Oh! Oh! I'm hit!"
"You shot bad, Tex?"
"You ever hear of anyone being shot good?"
~~~~~
Betty: I wish I had enough money to buy an elephant.
Joe: Why do you want an elephant?
Betty: I don't; I just want the money.
~~~~~
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors.
Bad News: There were three empty seats.
~~~~~
A man asked a lawyer his fee, and was told it was $100 for three questions.
"Isn't that awfully steep?" he asked.
"Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"
~~~~~
HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight?
WIFE: That's a good idea. YOU stand by the ironing board and I'LL sit on the sofa and fart.
~~~~~
On TV, the commercial says that 8 out of 10 people suffer from Hemorrhoids.
Does this mean the other 2 people enjoy them?
~~~~~
"Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church labeled "For The Sick", is for monetary donations only."
