MyLaffs Joke #718
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KIDS

MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
~~~~~
SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
~~~~~
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
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TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, teacher... snakes don't have feet!
~~~~~
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is....
TEACHER: No, Ellen, Always say "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet".
~~~~~
TEACHER: Max, use "defeat", "defense", and "detail" in a sentence.
MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.
~~~~~
MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.
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TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?
SASHA: A new bike.
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TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER: (sadly) You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT: (sadly) You don't know my father.
~~~~~
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!!
~~~~~
BOY: Isn't the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY: No.
GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
BOY: And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY: Thank Goodness!!
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