MyLaffs Joke #671
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LIFE'S LAWS

1: The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
2: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
3: Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
4: Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
5: Psychiatrists say that 1 in 4 people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.
6: Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
7: A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
8: It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
9: Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
10: If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
11: Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
12: The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
13: It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
14: The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
15: Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
16: Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
17: Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
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