MyLaffs Joke #626
QUICKIES
Two rules for life:
1: Don't tell people everything you know.
2:
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They say the grass is greener on the other side...
but have you ever flipped it over?
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Why don't little girls fart?
Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
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Did you hear about the three gay guys who attacked a woman?
Two held her down while the other did her hair.
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Dad: "You mustn't pull the cat's tail."
Child: "I'm only holding it. The cat is pulling."
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It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
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He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She: Well, you've succeeded.
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"Sometimes when I look at my children I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have stayed a virgin."
- Lillian Carter, President Jimmy Carter's mother.
