MyLaffs Joke #575
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WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?

JON SNOW: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was inevitable, wasn't it?"
EXPERT: "Er, yes."

(CHANNEL 4 NEWSREADER) "As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no different to any other."

(JOHN SLEIGHTHOLME - BBC1) "If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal."

(JIMMY HILL - BBC) "Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different names."

(PRESENTER, BBC Proms, Radio 3) "Cystitis is a living death, it really is. Nobody ever talks about it, but if I was faced with a choice between having my arms removed and getting cystitis, I'd wave goodbye to my arms quite happily."

(LOUISE WENER (of Sleeper) in Q Magazine) "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

(Metro Radio Sports Commentary) LISTENER: "My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell off at the altar on my wedding day."
SIMON FANSHAWE: "How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg?"

(Talk Radio) INTERVIEWER: "So did you see which train crashed into which train first?"
15-YEAR-OLD: "No, they both ran into each other at the same time."

(BBC Radio 4) PRESENTER (to palaeontologist): "So what would happen if you mated the woolly mammoth with, say, an elephant?"
EXPERT: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a mule, we'd get a sort of half-mammoth.
PRESENTER: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?"
EXPERT: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks."

(GLR) KILROY-SILK: "Did you mean to get pregnant?"
GIRL: "No. It was a cock-up."

Grand National winning jockey MICK FITZGERALD: "Sex is an anti-climax after that!"
(BBC) DESMOND LYNAM: "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everyone saw that."
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