MyLaffs Joke #360
ONE LINERS
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Tonight's weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Death is hereditary.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Multitasking is screwing up several things at once.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush Leave work at noon!
Arachibutyrophobia: fear of peanut butter sticking to roof of mouth.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever so far, so good.
Mental backup in progress Do Not Disturb!
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
"Laughing stock": cattle with a sense of humor.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
