MyLaffs Joke #289
MRS. WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. - A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Balance the checkbook (bal*ens da chek*buk) v. - To go to the cash machine and hit "inquire."
Bar-be-que (bar-bi-q) n. - You bought groceries, washed lettuce, chopped tomatoes, diced onions, marinated meat and cleaned everything up, but he "made dinner."
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. - Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. - An appliance designed to eat socks.
Computer (kom-pew-ter) n. - The one thing in a woman's life that does exactly what she tells it to.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. - A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Four Food Groups (for food groups) n. - Chocolate, wine coolers, potato chips and ice cream.
Home (hom) n. - A dwelling that ideally has the same number of bathrooms as people.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. - Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. - Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you want to remove it.