CARTOON CHARACTERS SUSPECTED OF USING DRUGS
OLIVE OIL
Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she IS always giving her burger to her friend. One side question, what the hell are Popeye and Brutus thinking? They almost made the list for courting her.
YOGI and BOO BOO
We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave and trip. Another aside ? Are they gay? I mean, take a look at boo boo.
DROOPY
The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone slip him an upper every year or two? The only time I ever saw him happy is when he sees the picture of the babe.
DOPEY DWARF
He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they are under investigations. Allegations that Doc is writing some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys are partaking are afloat.
DAFFY DUCK
If he isn't using crack, Marion Barry is clean. He is so wired he bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his beak off all the time. Some symptoms might be from "daffiness" but Haldol wouldn't work for him. Might for his buddy with Tourettes, Porky though.
SHAGGY
By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee, the boy converses with dogs. But all of this is nothing until you go to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats consumed per episode does pot. And look at the way he and his friends painted that van!
GARFIELD
Let's face it, Jon has nothing better to do except suck the crack pipe and talk to his pets. Every now and then he lets Odie take a hit or two.
PEANUTS
Snoopy is just lit up on anything he can find. First, dogs don't sleep on their backs, and second, a dog that DOES sleep on his back on a 12/12 pitch roof has got to be stoned, cuz any coherent individual doesn't have the proper equalibrium to perform this balancing act. His pop just drinks his life away, it's Jack and Coke for that beagle.
RUDOLPH
Red noses usually indicate a drinking problem. if I were Santa, I would have that particular reindeer take a breathalizer test. Drinking and flying are a deadly combination.
