MyLaffs Joke #146
Men," says the sergeant to the new recruits, "you've been placed under my supervision so I can teach you sissies how to do one of my favourite things. Kill! Unfortunately the army is under-funded these days, so I'll have to furnish you with these high-quality broomsticks. What I want you to do is point them at the target and yell, Bangety-bang."
The men did this for the rest of the week.
"Now you'll be taught how to kill close up. We don't have the money to buy you bayonets so I'm providing you with these plastic combs. What you need to do is to tape them to the end of your broomsticks and practice using them by yelling, Stabbety-stab!"
They practiced this for a week and become quite good at it.
Suddenly the training was over and they were told it was time to defend their country. Though they were afraid, they followed their sergeant into battle.
Eventually they worked their way up to the front line. With nothing but a comb taped on a broomstick in their hands and fear and doubt in their hearts, they pointed at the oncoming enemy and yelled, "Bangety-bang." Surprisingly, it worked. They fought fiercely and their enemies dropped like flies. When the enemy got too close, they used their combs and yelled, "Stabbety-stab."
The battle raged on and the loss of life on both sides was significant.
Finally it was down to only two men. One from each side. The soldier with the broomstick pointed it at the unarmed man shuffling towards him and yelled as loud as he could, "Bangety-bang!" It didn't work. Finally the man got so close he could use his comb directly on him. He jabbed at the enemy and yelled, "Stabbety-stab!" That didn't work either.
Indeed, the enemy soldier knocked him down and walked right over him. As the soldier lay dying he couldn't figure out what had gone wrong until he heard the enemy repeating, "Tankety-tank, tankety-tank."
