MyLaffs Joke #145
Murphy's Law:- If anything can go wrong, it will.
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Murphy's Corollary:- Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
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Murphy's Second Corollary:- It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
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Murphy's Constant:- Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
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Quantitized Revision Of Murphy's Law:- Everything goes wrong all at once.
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O'Tooles Commentary:- Murphy was an optimist.
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Murphy's Military Laws:-
1. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
2. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
3. Friendly fire, isn't.
4. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
5. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
6. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
7. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
8. Incoming fire has the right of way.
9. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
10. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
11. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
12. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
13. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
14. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
15. Don't be conspicuous; in the combat zone it draws fire. Out of the combat zone it draws sergeants.
16. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
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Ralph's Observation:- It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realise that you are in a hurry.
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Manly's Maxim:- Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
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Cannon's Comment:- If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next day you will have a flat tyre.
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Scott's Second Law:- When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place.
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The Aeroplane Law:- When the 'plane you are on is late, the 'plane you want to transfer to is on time.
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Etorre's Observation:- The other line moves faster.
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Sattinger's Law:- It works better if you plug it in.
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Lowery's Law:- If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
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Anthony's Law Of Force:- Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.
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Cahn's Axiom:- When all else fails, read the instructions.
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Weiler's Law:- Nothing is impossible to the man who does not have to do it himself.
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Interchangeable parts, won't.
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You never find a lost article until you replace it.
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If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
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Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.
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Eat a live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
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To err is human but to really mess things up requires a computer.
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Never play leapfrog with a Unicorn.
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If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe you just don't understand the situation.
